Bizarre Vintage Inventions That Prove Our Ancestors Were High

18. The Motorized Ice Cream Cone

In the 1960s, inventors decided humans were simply too lazy to rotate their wrists. So they made a motorized ice cream cone that spun itself while you held your tongue still. No licking required—just stand there like a statue while your dessert does the work.

It was messy, noisy, and completely unnecessary. Batteries died mid-lick, cones spun too fast, and many users ended up with sticky faces and existential dread. It sold surprisingly well at first—until people realized they’d paid $9.99 to look like fools with frozen cheeks.

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