The Most Absurd ‘Emergency’ Calls Police Actually Received

My Pizza Has a Hex on It

A man in New Mexico called emergency services to report that his takeout pizza was cursed. He said every time he tried to eat it, “a voice in his head yelled ‘Don’t!’” He suspected witchcraft, or worse—gluten sensitivity.

The dispatcher calmly asked if he had any known food allergies. “Only to evil,” he replied. No officers were sent. The pizza? Reportedly still in the fridge… untouched and suspicious.

Advertisements