The Most Absurd ‘Emergency’ Calls Police Actually Received

My Parrot Swore at Me

In New York, a woman dialed 911 because her pet parrot was “verbally abusive.” She said the bird had picked up curse words from her ex and wouldn’t stop repeating them in a mocking tone.

The dispatcher chuckled and asked if she’d considered earplugs. The woman insisted it was “mental harassment.” The police, unsurprisingly, did not respond—but the parrot probably kept squawking: “Call a real cop!”

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